“He openly admitted he only brought a bunch of extra adults because it was free.”

Hi, I’m Michaela Bramwell, and I'm a Junior Staff Writer here at BuzzFeed, covering everything trending news, from your latest viral TikTok to the chaos of today's politics.

"Fast forward to this year (yesterday), T wanted to make up for not having a 40th and planned a surprise birthday dinner at a really nice (and expensive) restaurant I love. She invited my entire family — parents, siblings, and all the nephews and nieces."

"Turns out, my older brother H (48, male) was on the fence about coming because money is tight for him. He originally thought it would just be him and his wife."

"He added his three adult children, one of their significant others, and his adult son’s girlfriend — without asking anyone. He just did it. Also, on the night of the dinner, one of them decided not to come. He also didn’t communicate this to T."

"He openly admitted he only brought a bunch of extra adults because it was free. He didn't care that he was taking advantage of my wife's generosity and our finances. To him, it was just a free night out."

"This isn't the first time. For years, H has been disrespectful toward me. He barely has any relationship with our kids — he'll RSVP to their birthdays and then not show up. His wife says she's coming almost every time, but actually only appears when there's an expensive free meal involved. This was just the first time he directly used and disrespected my wife."

"So, would I be the asshole for finally drawing the line in the sand, cutting him off, and going no contact outside of holidays?"

"I can understand someone basing their decision on whether or not to attend based on the cost. However, padding the list when finding out someone else is picking up the tab is beyond rude," donnacus said.

"Just invite him, but include in his invite that he is going to have to pay. Then he'll never come," Explosion1850 said.

"Just stop inviting him to stuff since you know he probably won’t come anyway. There’s no need to tell him anything about it and if anyone asks, that’s your line, 'eh he never comes to these things so I thought I’d save us both some time and stop inviting him,'" Big_Tiger_123 said.

"My dad's brother, my uncle, and his side family would only show up if there was free food. Otherwise, we'd never see them, even at my dad's funeral. They showed up and ate all the food before anyone else could get any. My mom and I were so angry, we stopped talking to him and his kids, except the one daughter who has her stuff together," ToolAndres1968 said. 

"I have coworkers that order the most expensive thing and dessert when the boss would treat us. We all work from home and live in different parts of the state but would get together every so often for meetings. We no longer go out for lunch anymore," Suckerforcats said.