“Collecting data is always helpful.” — An actual doctor, not just my dumbass

We got a wild range going on right now. I need to step up my game.

If you're unfamiliar with the concept of a "ghost poop," AKA "ghost wipe," it's when the TP comes out clean immediately upon the first stroke to your bottom. The greatest victory, one could say. 

Yeah, I guess you could say I'm pretty legendary 😼

"If you are concerned about something, collecting data is always helpful. This goes for anything that has to do with your health. I also encourage my patients to look at their bowel movements instead of just flushing!"

Both of these lean toward the constipation category. If you're dropping one of these pebble-looking poops, eat some fiber and drink some water! You're lacking nutrients, homie. 

These are the epitome of normal poops. If you got those smooth logs, then you must be doing something right. 

Now these lumps are a challenge. They're the bridge between normal and diarrhea explosion. While some say this is typical, others say it leans more toward the diarrhea side.

Clench your cheeks because THIS is the type of diarrhea explosion I was referring to. Call them "squirts" if you will. 

I mean... I don't think I even have to say it, but this is your Average Joe™️ poop. 

Now, this could be that red Gatorade you just drank, but be on the lookout for hemorrhoids or rectal bleeding. 

Again, this could be related to the color of the foods you're eating, but it could also be related to irritable bowel syndrome or an infection.

If you aren't taking iron supplements, Pepto-Bismol, or eating a shit ton (literally) of blueberries, then it could mean that you're bleeding in your upper digestive system.

This could mean that you're eating too much fat or foods high in beta-carotene, but it could also relate to bile duct issues or celiac disease. 

Either you're popping some over-the-counter drugs, drinking dairy like it's your job, or, like the diagram states, you've got liver, bile, pancreatic, or gallbladder issues. Wow, not many possibilities at all 😳