“A girl ’broke up’ with me cause I wasn’t a fan of Ellen DeGeneres.”

"The following year, it looked like there would be a major and minor league team. My 27 year old pack-a-day smoker ex that hadn’t played hockey in YEARS really thought he had a chance to try out. 

I mean, there were kids that have lived and breathed hockey every day, but Mr can’t-even-spring-for-the-sports-cable-package was really gonna do it. He changed his work schedule to train and the whole gambit. When he came to me to try and get me to pay more bills so he could drop to part time work and train more, I was ‘unsupportive’ and ‘unreasonable’. He’d make so much money for us! 

Yeah. It’s one of those it’s-funny-now breakups, but I was pretty upset at the time. No, he never went pro."

"He would go and pick her up whenever and wherever no questions asked. He'd take her mum out shopping as she didn't drive, made sure she was ok when sick, turn up with flowers not just for her but for her mum too; basically being a good human being. 

Also, according to her, as she kept on telling me repeatedly, he was proficient in the bedroom too. She broke up with him because he showered too much. That's not even a cover up for another reason – she seriously was bored of waiting for him for the three minutes it took every night for him to get out of the shower. This poor guy had done the absolute most for her and she couldn't wait three minutes for him. I think he had a lucky escape, tbh."

Additional thumbnail credits: Netflix, Amazon Prime Video