Stephen Colbert thinks Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem’s alleged side piece should be careful about where he decides to whippet out.

Last week, The Wall Street Journal published a report that alleges that the Noem — who is famously known for shooting her own dog — is having an affair with one of her aides, Corey Lewandowski.

Both Noem, 54, and Lewandowski, 52, are married with children — and the two have denied the rumors.

People familiar with the matter, however, told the Journal that the two Trump administration officials have been traveling together on a luxury 737 MAX jet, complete with a private cabin in back — which, paired with Noem’s creepy canine history, inspired a pretty solid joke on Monday’s episode of the “Late Show.”

“If that romantic part is true,” Colbert said, referring to their alleged affair, “Corey — a word of warning: Avoid doggy style.”

After the audience erupted in laughter, Colbert added that there is one part of Noem’s home that should not be part of their bone zone.

“Especially near the gravel pit.”

In 2024, while she was still the governor of South Dakota, Noem released a book in which she admitted that she shot her 14-month-old wirehaired pointer named Cricket because she was “untrainable,” “dangerous to anyone she came in contact with” and “less than worthless … as a hunting dog.”

Noem added that she put down Cricket in a gravel pit on her property.

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