You might want to empty your bladder before reading.

I'm an Editorial Director at BuzzFeed who covers the internet’s funniest photos and jokes, weird human history, movie facts, and more.

You can't date Leo after 25, but hey — you can get a rental car!

"FIRST AND FOREMOST, MY GRANDS AND GREATS RIDE IN THIS VEHICLE! BE CONSIDERATE OF THAT! I HAVE FAMILY AND I’M RAISING A GREAT THAT NEEDS ME! BE SURE I GET HOME SAFE TO HER AND MY FAMILY! I DON’T CARRY MONEY OR REAL JEWELS! IF YOU CARJACK ME WRECK IT GOOD! I WANT A NEW ONE!

DO NOT TOUCH OR CUSS AROUND MY PARROT! I WILL PUT YOU OUT! I DON’T TOUCH YOUR KIDS AND I DON’T TEACH YOUR KIDS TO CUSS, DON’T TEACH MINE!

NO SMOKING, VAPING, SMOKING POT, OR SNORTING/SMOKING DOPE! THIS ISN’T YOUR HOOKAH ROOM! OR TRAP HOUSE!

NO SPRAYING PERFUME, DOING YOUR HAIR AND MAKEUP (I don’t want your hair all over the place and other customers don’t want to get in to your hair all over them), SPRAYING HAIR SPRAY OR COLOGNE! THIS ISN’T YOUR BATHROOM!

NO SEX OR MAKING OUT. THIS ISN’T YOUR HOOKER ROOM/HOTEL ROOM.

NO EATING OR DRINKING IN MY CAR! I PROVIDE WATER FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE! THIS ISN’T YOUR DINER!

And I can translate all of this to you in Spanish. If you can’t be respectful, I will gladly accommodate you with another driver."

Man, I really hope they gave that pig some love!

Looks to me like he's got 21 stacked there. Not bad!